So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize