There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
