dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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