the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All the doctor said was why
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
