from now on my penis is your penis
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize