It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
