it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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