I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
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Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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