He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
