so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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