just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
