i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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