some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Welp...herpes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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