What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
