Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
