HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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