yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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