remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
