i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
