I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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