..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
