he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Panties = found
Randomize