OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
