you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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