It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
