There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
