I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm always down for nudity.
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