glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
