Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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