It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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