good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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