I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize