I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Randomize
