i just google imaged poop.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
