Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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