I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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