OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
