I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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