I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
