Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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