I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
