Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
