I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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