i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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