onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old