Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents