So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
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I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber