The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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