Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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