one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
