i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
