he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
