I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
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Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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