speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
