My brain says no but my pants say off.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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