First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
