pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
