i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
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I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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