**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
