So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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