Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
