I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this boner is exhausting
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
